Girls, have you ever been in a situation where you suddenly realize you don’t talk to any straight man anymore? Anxious because all your girlfriends are in relationships except for you? Or becoming slightly depressed when you are targeted with ads that scream “5 signs you will end up old and alone?”.
Girl, we got you! You are not alone and we are here to tell you that you should embrace being single (forever)!
Why are we so obsessed with being in a relationship?
Humans are social animals, we naturally strive for companionship. In the modern definition of monogamy and love, lovers’ companionship seems like a forever promise to keep you from being alone. “Love for/from a partner” sounds like something unique and magical, if you don’t have it, you could end up feeling “less” than everyone else.
Let’s deconstruct this: Monogamous relationships and the concept of “love” as we know it today, have only come into play since the era of Romanticism (circa 1800). Relationships of course existed, but marriage before that era was purely functional. A relationship doesn’t define you, and is not the cure to loneliness, depression, or feeling unhappy. There are happy people who are single, and there are miserable people who struggle with their relationships every day.
What you should ask yourself is:
- Am I satisfied with myself as a person (without being in a relationship)?
- What do I want from a relationship?
- Why is being in a relationship so important to me?
- Is it because everyone else is chasing it and I feel peer pressured?
- Do I feel uncomfortable being alone and am therefore seeking attention from others?
- Will a relationship make my current challenges disappear?
Just take a moment to digest the above questions and if you still feel that a relationship is what you need to make your life complete, then who are we to stop you? Get it going and go HAM on dating apps, joining clubs, talking to strangers, and most importantly, ma-ni-fest in that relationship from the universe.
Who will be “The One”?
Society, romantic movies, and novels are trying so hard to sell the romanticized idea of “The one”. That when you will find “The one”, all of your problems will disappear. You will live happily ever after, with the most mind-blowing s3ggs, the family you always wanted and the babies you have lifelong desired for.
First of all, let’s understand that longing for “The one” is a concept that exists in the future. But we live in “The now”. If you are taking so much time expecting and manifesting “The one” appearing in your life, wondering which person in your life is “The one” or whether your current partner is “The one”, you are missing out on all the beautiful opportunities to just enjoy life in “The now”. By living in the future, we are constantly putting ourselves in anxiety instead of enjoying what’s happening now. Exchange “The One” for “The Now”. Next, please!
Secondly, by thinking that “The one” will fix all the problems in your life, you are putting the whole responsibility of YOUR happiness on external factors, in this case, “The One”. But you are the greatest contributor to your life and no one else bears the responsibility to bring happiness to it other than you. We are all independent persons and responsible for our own happiness.
Relationships are about two (or more) different people coming together, adding their own spice and sparks to each other’s lives while having their own challenges to overcome and beautiful experiences to share.
Switch the narrative: You are THE ONE!
Try to see it from this perspective: You are “The one” for yourself! You are the one who knows you the best. You are the one who understands you. You are the one who accepts you when you fail when you are sad and still loves you no matter what. Build a beautiful relationship with yourself first! Invest time and energy in yourself and get to know yourself more. Know what you like, date yourself, start a new hobby with yourself, pleasure yourself (with or without a vibrator), and most importantly: love yourself!
Don’t be scared to go out alone: eat in a restaurant alone, go see a movie alone, go to that amusement park alone. At the end of the day, no one cares more about you than you. As long as you are comfortable and happy, it’s enough!
You will not die alone!
Another perspective sinks in when people are afraid of being alone, which is related to “ageing”.The fear of ending up “old and alone”. We should comfort the thought that everyone will grow old someday and that we add life experience and knowledge every day, making us become more valuable as human beings. So find comfort in yourself and the people around you. Just like when we were born, we will die alone, but we all have friends and family (and sometimes a partner) that care for us.
It may sound cheesy and cliché to say “You should love yourself”, but this is the one and only way to live a happy life. Be comfortable being single and live a complete life. Then, if you start a relationship with someone else, you will know your own worth and you will have been “a complete person” before you start a relationship. This will not only add to your own quality of life but definitely also to your (future) partner's.
There are both pluses and minuses in relationships and being single. We are not saying which one is better, but we just want you to know it’s fine to be single and not desperate for a relationship. You can live a happy single life!
If this article was helpful, please like and share with anyone you think who needs to hear this!
Don’t know where to start your journey of self-love? Let’s start with learning how to love our body first:
About The Oh Collective 噢欢乐
The Oh Collective wants to inspire all women to be confident and happy with their intimate selves by recognizing their physical needs and their own definition of "pleasure." We believe you don't need to be ashamed or shy to explore your body. We are here to provide our sisters with safe and reliable products, a trusted community and content that offers 100% good vibes only!
Your besties, her besties, you colleague and anyone who is in need of some self-love and chill. Shop our G-Spot vibrator Kit here or our mini vibrator Pixie here.