Can we all agree that we were raised to be professional people-pleasers? We were taught to put others before ourselves, to never make a fuss, and to always strive for perfection. But let's face it, this habit can seriously mess with our dating and sex lives. We end up saying yes to things we don't actually want to do, putting our own needs and desires last, and feeling guilty for taking up space. So, let's break the cycle and start prioritizing our own pleasure. By breaking the people-pleasing habit, we can prioritize our own needs and desires, communicate more effectively with our partners, and ultimately have a more enjoyable and satisfying sex and dating life.
But first, What Is People-Pleasing?
People-pleasing is the act of putting other people's needs and desires before your own, often at the expense of your own well-being. People-pleasers tend to prioritize making others happy and avoiding conflict over their own happiness and personal growth.
While people-pleasing can be a positive trait in some situations, such as in a work environment or when helping others, it can have negative consequences when it becomes a habit that affects your personal life, especially in your sex and dating life.
The Impact of People-Pleasing on Your Sex and Dating Life
When you prioritize other people's desires over your own in sex and dating, you may find yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable or unhappy. You may have difficulty communicating your needs and boundaries, leading to unsatisfying or even traumatic experiences.
People-pleasers may also struggle with saying no or setting boundaries, which can lead to feeling taken advantage of or resentful towards their partners. Additionally, people-pleasers may avoid trying new experiences or expressing their desires, limiting their sexual wellness and personal growth.
Breaking the People-Pleasing Habit
Breaking the people-pleasing habit is essential to improving your sex and dating life. Start by acknowledging that you have the tendency to prioritize other people's needs and opinions over your own. This can lead to feeling unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and disconnected from your own desires. Recognize that it's okay to put yourself first and prioritize your own needs and desires. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner(s) about what you want and need in the bedroom, without worrying about pleasing them at your own expense. Remember that a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication, and that includes prioritizing your own pleasure and satisfaction.
Take Control of Your Own Pleasure
Learning to prioritize your own needs and desires in the bedroom is a critical step towards breaking your people-pleasing habit. It's essential to become comfortable with communicating your wants and needs to your partner, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel at first.
If you're unsure where to start, consider trying out new positions or exploring different types of stimulation with your partner. Incorporating sex toys into your routine can also be an excellent way to enhance pleasure for both partners while helping you get more in tune with your own needs.
At The Oh Collective, we offer a range of vibrators and other sex toys designed to help you explore your sexuality and take control of your pleasure. Our clitoral vibrators, such as the Pixie Best Silent Clit Vibrator, are perfect for solo play or use with a partner. We also have couple vibrators like Dream Team Couples Exploration Set that provide mutual stimulation for both partners.
Our Pleasure Prescription Set with Rub Me Tender Massage Candle & Clitoral Vibe Pixie
Embrace Your Authentic Self
Breaking your people-pleasing habit isn't just about learning to communicate your desires in the bedroom. It's also about embracing your authentic self and learning to be true to yourself in all aspects of your life.
As you work towards breaking your people-pleasing habit, it's important to remind yourself that you are worthy of love and affection just as you are. When you learn to embrace your authentic self, you'll attract partners who appreciate and value you for who you are.
Prioritize your own needs & desires
Breaking your people-pleasing habit isn't always easy, but it's an essential step towards developing healthier, more fulfilling relationships in all areas of your life. Learning to prioritize your own needs and desires, communicating effectively with your partner, and embracing your authentic self can all help you improve your sex and dating life and develop more meaningful connections with others.
At The Oh Collective, we're committed to helping you explore your sexuality and find the tools you need to take control of your pleasure. Check out our collection of sexual wellness products and sign up for updates in your inbox to start prioritizing your pleasure first.