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Hi Nili! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and how would you describe yourself in one word?
Loyal. I’m loyal to myself: first of all to my body, but also to the people I know, and I'm loyal to my beliefs.
When did you experience your first orgasm and how did it feel?
I had clitoral orgasms when I was in my teens. But I had my first vaginal orgasm when I was 24. It felt mystical! I was shocked because I squirted and afterwards, I felt this high and was like “Oh my god what is happening?!”. I couldn't stop laughing!
Wow, you scored it the first time you tried it! Can you share more about your upbringing as an Afghan woman who is brought up in a religious and conservative family and how that contrasted with living in Germany, the US, and Japan?
My parents told me I was not supposed to have s3x before I was married. I wanted to be part of the community, be a good daughter to my parents and I thought that was the right thing to do. I masturbated but I wouldn’t have s3x. It wasn't until I dated my first boyfriend at 24 and decided to have s3x because I thought I was going to marry him. It was too hard to suppress this natural feeling of desire!
I never spoke to my parents about it. It was such a contradiction to my life in Germany because all my friends were having s3x at the age of 15! I felt ashamed that I was a virgin and had no experience.
After I had s3x I couldn’t believe that it was considered a bad thing in religion. God created women and the female body is divine. Why would God not allow you to have this pleasure?
What do you think happens when s3x is only done for reproduction purposes and masturbation is forbidden?
The suppression of s3x and masturbation will make you small-minded and you can’t be happy. I wouldn’t be the same version of myself if I stayed suppressed. I made up my mind and decided for myself that this is my body, my life, and I was going to do what I wanted. If you get in touch with yourself and your sexuality, you become more self-aware and confident. You realize that you should choose for yourself: leave that country, leave that long-term boyfriend, and definitely leave that comfort zone!
I broke up with the restrictions I had in my life and I decided to have s3x because it is my body. I became stronger and motivated to take matters into my own hands.
You've had some crazy wild weekends, how do you detach s3x to feelings knowing that when you orgasm, your brain releases oxytocin (the love hormone)?
I call those one-night stands the love of my nights (or days or weeks). I never had an issue with having s3x with someone and then saying goodbye and moving on. When you know what you want in life and he isn’t someone who you see a future with, then you’ll be able to differentiate. You should really ask yourself whether you’re into him as a person or whether it’s just pure pleasure and you enjoying the moment.
Do you have s3x differently with the guys you like versus the guys you don't see a future with?
Yes of course! When I love someone I think it’s beautiful, I sometimes even cry because the connection can be so beautiful! But with someone who you just met, it’s more physical than emotional. Although it’s entirely physical and less emotionally fulfilling, your body can still be happy and satisfied. I actually don't have sex immediately with the guys I really like.
Do you think men have a hard time detaching s3x from feelings?
Yes, in my case because I cum so much. Some men have never experienced it, so it’s an ego boost and a reward for them. They mix up the feeling of reward from love. I’ve had guys who fell in love with me after having s3x, but to me, that’s the wrong idea of what love is.
Do men catch feelings for your because you squirt? Tell us your craziest story!
Yes definitely. Especially when a guy feels like they can make me cum all the time, while they haven't been able to with other (women).
I can cum and squirt in as short as 10 to 30 seconds. Sometimes I can control it and not orgasm and squirt, but it really depends on my day, my feelings, and my hormones.
Sometimes when I have longer sessions, I will have multiple orgasms. I start feeling dizzy, out of breath and out of this universe. It can get dangerous though: I passed out twice and had to call my doctor in Germany!
How do you cum and squirt so many times in a session? Spill the secrets!
I treat s3x as a meditation. I let go of everything I’m thinking about and only enjoy the moment and let my body do its thing. I am not ashamed of how I look and I’m solely focusing on is how to please myself with his body and move my body along with it.
As to squirting, I suggest people use their fingers, or a vibe during the session. Press down on your belly a little bit to get the sensitive spots a push when there’s something inside of you and continue stimulating the sensitive spots.
You should feel the joy of pleasure and reach orgasms through that. Not like in most p0rns, where it's this aggressive act of fingering to make her squirt.
We asked Nili's opinion on this instructional video on "How to make her squirt" we recorded from a male friend. Her reaction?
How do you make your bed when you know you squirt during sessions?
Squirting isn’t like pee. It’s not yellow! I suggest laying a towel or going for an extra layer under your normal bedding.
We also saw this supersoft waterproof pet blanket on TikTok that is the must-have for "those nights 😏".
What’s one piece of advice or self-love quote you’d like to tell all the women out there?
“What you expect is what you attract, so always think of yourself deserving the best!” It’s your divine right to be s3xual, to be yourself and not hide in this world. We’re all beautiful! Your body is your home, your soul is your home and pleasing yourself is the most important!
My favourite self-love quote? Masturbate every day.