From queefs to dirty talk: our secrets to spice up a relationship

From queefs to dirty talk: our secrets to spice up a relationship

Hi, guys. Welcome back to the Oh Collective Just Like You series. We are introducing a subtopic called #Let'sGetReal to share our own experiences on subjects we are often too shy to speak about.  

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Sex without showering or sex without brushing your teeth? 

Eden: Sex without brushing my teeth. I saw online that it's best to not brush your teeth before giving blowjob, because apparently when you brush your teeth, you're opening up a lot of pores inside your mouth. And if you do head, there's a higher chance of bacteria getting into your mouth after you brush your teeth. So I would choose not to brush my teeth and give head.  

Simona: It's the same thing as orange juice, like how you can't drink orange juice after brushing your teeth. 

No more sex with your partner or no more masturbation?

Diana: No more masturbation because you can always have your partner and it's a deeper kind of engagement. That's funny.  

Bad sex with someone you love or amazing sex with someone you hate? 

Winx: Number one. Because the more you practice, the better it gets up. But if I'm gonna die the next day, then number two. 

Spank or choke? 

Winxi: Choke

Eden: Spank

Diana: Spank (with 10/10 intensity) 

Sex at IKEA or sex at a crowded beach?

Eden: Maybe IKEA, there would be less children. 

Diana: 100% IKEA. Sex on the beach as a thought, is really sexy, but the logistics in real life are not.  

Talk about feelings or talk about dinner?

Eden: Feelings. 

Simona: You're so not Asian. 

Queef or Fart? 

Eden: Once I hear a fart or smell a fart, I'm just turned off. 

Diana: Queefing can be sexy, but a real fart has nothing to do with that moment. 

3 loud farts that don't smell during sex or 5 constant silent farts that smell like rotten hummus from a very hot person?

Diana: Easy. Loud non-smelling farts. 

Winxi: I would go with the loud because whoever's doing the fart can cough or grunt to try to overcompensate for the flatulence sound. 

If you fart during sex, what would you do?

Winxi: I would pretend nothing happened. 

How to initiate sex?

Eden: I've done something this week. I literally just came home with the sloppiest clothes, showered, then changed my underwear. I just changed into a G-string. And I was walking around home naked. And he was like... And I'm like... yeah. Or I would create anticipation: in the morning, I'd say, "hey, you know, I'm really feeling it." Then there is anticipation throughout the day. 

Diana: I go for the upper thigh rub. It works no matter we're in public or if we're at home. Like if they get hard, then they want it. 

How do you like others initiating sex to you? 

Eden: Well, like the morning spoon. Or strip tease, or just a casual start is nice.  

What makes someone good in bed? 

Winxi: Someone who can read the moment and the body language. I feel that's really important because sometimes you also have these moments when you're with someone not so good in bed. Like, they do all the wrong things for that moment. It's like, this is not the moment to choke someone, or this is not the moment to have soft and calm sex. It's important that someone can read the moment and read the body language.  

Diana: Communication. I think a lot of times we're too shy to say what we really want at the moment. So confidence in communication is essential. 

Simona: Confidence.  

How have you spiced up your sex life lately? 

Eden: Creating eroticism in life. I think my partner and I can be glued 24/7. But creating that distance and then coming together again is really nice to help spice things up.  

How do you talk dirty to your partner? 

Winxi: Via text is always such an excellent way to keep it spicy. You're less shy when you're texting versus when you physically are saying it. But that also helps you build your confidence to be able to say it face to face.   

What is the dirtiest text that you sent your partner? 

Eden: I can't wait for you to come on my face. 

Simona: Solid 7.  

How do you talk to your partner about sexual desires? 

Diana: It's a really good way if you guys have a shared diary or just notes that you can see and just list out what you both want to do. Then you can have your hard nos and your yeses. 

What are signs that a relationship is unhealthy? 

Diana: I think when they're just making you feel crazy. That's my stopping point and probably something I still need to work on. If they're just making me so crazy and not being nice or putting more stress than they are making me happy, then I find it unhealthy. It's also about defining better boundaries because when boundaries are pushed, things become very unhealthy in the relationship.  

Eden: A lot of secrets. If you feel like you're keeping to yourself or your partner is keeping to themselves and feels like they cannot communicate with you. 

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